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#5 Vanquish Procrastination

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Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

Vanquish procrastination

#5 Vanquish Procrastination

So, you’ve got a writing task or two that’s needing to be done, and well, em… you’ve got more than enough time to get them completed.


But, for some reason, this time seems to slip away, completely undetected and under the radar, until boom, you’re ferociously working at the speed of light with a few hours left.

And what’s more, it doesn’t happen now and again completely out of the blue. It’s a regular occurrence, popping its carefree head up too often.

Let me introduce you to the little old jiminy cricket that is procrastination…

What is procrastination?

Think of Procasti-Nation (procrastination) as the world we live in, and as you journey through, there are many regular stop-offs. 

You might visit places like: 

  • Snooze-Land
  • Rush-Zone
  • Perfection-Avenue
  • Consumption-Alley
  • Fear-City 
  • Snack-District

Sound familiar? 

Maybe not right now, but as you dive deeper, you will realise you’ve probably been on a 1st class ticket to more than one of these destinations many times.

Procrastination is when we choose to delay something important to a later date down the line favouring something else that’s easy and fun, providing instant gratification. 

It’s the opposite of motivation, or willingness to work.

Procrastination is the reason why many people find themselves scrabbling around at the last minute to meet deadlines after continuously making bad decisions whenever they had enough time to start with. 

It lives entirely in the present moment, has no memory of the past and has no knowledge of the future. 

Many people think that procrastination is a form of laziness, and while this can be true, often it’s not.

It’s not uncommon to find someone with high procrastination tendencies putting off writing their assignment instead of tidying their room.

Now you wouldn’t say cleaning your room is lazy, would you?

This is procrastination at its finest. Doing something completely unrelated to the task at hand, so you don’t have to do what actually needs doing.

Why do we procrastinate?

We procrastinate because it gives our minds some free time, a break from the tedious monotony of that dreaded task that needs doing.

It acts as relief and makes us happy in the short term.

It answers the fears and doubts we might have about not being able to complete our work.

Procrastination is the ultimate scapegoat. 

We do it because it’s usually always easy and convenient. 

Procrastination offers the opposite to the struggles of focus and hard work, and happens for many reasons:

  1. Lack of defined goals
  2. Feeling overwhelmed 
  3. Lack of foresight into the future 
  4. Accountability
  5. Habits 
  6. Mindset blocks 
  7. Lack of planning

Overall, we procrastinate because our motivation gets hindered by factors such as exhaustion and rewards that seem too far away at present. Fear of failure and anxiety take over and cause our minds to search for the quick fix solution.

Now you’re probably asking what causes all of this procrastination?

What causes procrastination?

7 causes of procrastination

What are the 4 types of procrastination?

#1. The anxious

Taking on work or specific tasks usually comes with a degree of anxiety or stress. But, it’s how you deal with this anxiety that determines the outcome for you. 

It’s one thing to meet this work head-on, but it’s also a lot easier to take the nearest cab to ‘Fear-City.’

“Let’s go there and keep worrying; that way, we’ll never have to take action and get the work done”, might be what you are telling yourself amidst all these fears.

Many people get so wrapped up in doubts about their abilities and how to manage their workload that it often leads to no free time, and you betcha — procrastination!

#2. The fun

This type of procrastinator wants to do anything but the task at hand. They would rather be doing all the fun stuff and not the boring work. 

I mean, sometimes it’s hard to argue with the option of going to the beach, or writing that 3000 word essay…

#3. The “plenty of time”

If you’re set a project deadline for a long way off, it can be difficult to kick yourself into gear and make a start.

This is where it’s all too easy to find yourself pulling up the handbrake and spending too much time in ‘Snack-District.’

Taking a little time out here and there will surely not have any dwindling effect on the overall project, right?

Wrong! 

This makes it very easy for procrastination to sink in, and you know what comes next.

Yea, the handbrake is getting nearly yanked off as you zoom for ‘Rush-Zone’ and that dreaded deadline in a few days.

#4. The perfectionist

Have you ever given something so much thought because you wanted it to be perfect that you overthink the entire situation and never end up doing what it is you set out to do in the first place?

This is slamming your foot hard on the gas and steering straight for ‘Perfection-Alley’ — in a nutshell.

Some people strive for perfection every time, which really isn’t possible.

Not only will it drive you completely bonkers in the process, but it will lead you into the deepest, darkest caverns of procrastination imaginable.

Effects of procrastination

Procrastination can have many different negative effects on us.

In fact, one study conducted by APA (american physiological association) indicates that 94% of people said procrastination harmed their happiness, and 18% said it had an extremely negative impact.

In the beginning, it might seem like closing that assignment down to go on YouTube is harmless. But over a prolonged period, this seemingly harmless act can spiral out of control quite quickly. 

And before you know it, you’re down the rabbit hole every time you need to be doing something productive.

The feelings we get from procrastination can be as such:

  • Guilt
  • Anger
  • Dread
  • Anxiety
  • Hatred

All these emotions are usually experienced by a person when it’s too late. They’ve put the thing off for too long, and now they see no way out. 

Can you see how procrastination can be severely damaging to your mental state and wellbeing? 

Is procrastination a mental illness?

It’s understandable why many people might think of procrastination as being a mental illness. But it’s not.

Procrastination is a bad habit usually formed over years of leaving tasks to the last minute before completion.

Yet, it’s important to understand that, while they’re not caused by procrastination, anxiety and depression can get worse through this habit.

Procrastination is a symptom, not a disorder. And you should look at what’s causing it in the first place?

Suppose depression is causing a severe lack of motivation and energy, and in turn, you are procrastinating a lot because of this. In that case, you need to tackle it before anything else!

ADHD and procrastination are also closely linked, but this is more to do with the fact that people with ADHD have a problem concentrating to begin with.

Naturally, with concentration issues, this leads to procrastination. 

How to overcome procrastination

We can take a few different measures to focus your mind, overcome procrastination, and get motivation back where it needs to be.

Create Timelines

Creating timelines is a great way to overcome procrastination.

Having something to use that will keep you accountable is great for motivation and a get-it-done attitude.

Timelines prevent us from racing into ‘Snooze-Land.’ 

I mean, when some things must be completed by a specific date, and it’s written down in front of us in black and white, there’s not much time for being lazy and sleeping.

When structuring these, avoid going too big and risk stretching out your time, giving procrastination a big heads up.

But also, be sure not to go too small either, so you don’t risk setting an unrealistic time to get the work done and cause more stress.

Set Smaller Goals

When you set goals that you are more than capable of, you set yourself up to succeed. 

You see, goals that you know are achievable get done.

If you set unrealistic goals, what are the chances of you going through with them? 

It’s better to meet your goals even if they aren’t as great as you would have liked for the time being than not to meet any of them at all. 

Reward Yourself

It would help if you got into the habit of rewarding yourself for small wins along the way. 

Too many of us undeservedly reward ourselves nowadays and not only does this mess with our procrastination habits, but it also creates a false sense of accomplishment. 

Create an excellent environment

Distractions play a big role in the procrastinator’s life, especially digital devices. With everything being one click of a button now, it’s no wonder procrastination is so easy these days.

Simply turning off notifications on your phone or putting it on airplane mode will help tremendously when battling procrastination. 

Keeping everything clean and tidy at your workstation is another excellent way to have an ideal environment and help you out. 

Your focus and mental clarity will be a lot better when not having to worry about whats were.

Have brain breaks 

Have you ever sat down for a good 5 hours of working? Seems almost impossible at times. But what if you broke those 5 hours down into 45 min sessions with a 15 min break between. 

This seems far less daunting than the initial 5 hours, and it will also help you keep contraction better.

Create a vision statement to help you stay on track

Now that we have identified what procrastination is and how it can detract from your daily productivity, this is an excellent opportunity for you to put a framework in place for going forward.

Your vision statements should include health, career, wealth, family, friends, personal growth, physical environment, health and romance aspirations ten years from now. 

Notice when procrastination shows up and how it can impact your ten-year vision. 

If you feel like you’re going around in circles, you’re not sure where to start, or maybe you’ve created your vision statement but would just like a second opinion from an expert. A coaching session is a great way to find clarity and talk over your goals.

"You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

Zig Ziglar

Need further help with setting your goals and being accountable? Get in touch. We have coaching services starting from £39 per month that will help you set compelling goals and achieve them with coaching techniques and a supportive community cheering you on.

Book a 30-minute call with me, Tammy Whalen Blake, to enrol you on the best program for your personal development.

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#12 Motivation Will Never Come

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Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

motivation will never come

#12 Motivation Will Never Come

Hate to break it to you but motivation is never going to magically appear. It is a lie you tell yourself when you don’t want to take action. There is only one key to breaking free from the “I will start on Monday” lie. Watch this video to learn how.

It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently

Tony Robbins

Have you ever wondered how some people are able to achieve results, while others work hard but achieve very little?

Maybe those people appear more intelligent, ambitious, or maybe you say they are the lucky ones. These can help, sure, but there is more to making an impact than just appearing busy. The secret is consistent action. No matter how big or small. Just consistent. 

In order to be consistent, you must be committed to the results. You must go all-in and break free from your excuses. It may take a long time, but it is better than doing nothing. True consistency is about your ability to be dependable, to be reliable and accountable for all your choices, decisions and actions.

Being consistent seems very simple, yet most struggle. Why? They allow themselves to be distracted. People are not focused, committed or disciplined. They desire the quick-fix. The instant gratification.

Go back to your childhood. Did you give up learning how to ride a bike or did you keep trying until it was possible? Were you consistent?

Here is the thing – if you are struggling to be consistent, know that you are already doing it. It is called inconsistency. 

If you behave inconsistent in one area of life, there is a strong chance you are doing it in other areas. You are consistently inconsistent. 

Hard to swallow? I understand. Where there is self-awareness, there is change. Be the change you want to see.

You must know that there are no quick wins when committing to consistency because consistency is rather about making incremental improvements over time. You will get the desired results, however, they will come over an extended period of time.

Join any of our coaching programs and learn the habit of consistency. We hold you accountable until results have been achieved. If you would like to discuss the options, book a free coaching call here 

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#9 The Yellow Morning Routine

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Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

THE YELLOw MORNING ROUTINE

#9 The Yellow Morning Routine

Do you start your day with purpose or intention or do you need to get on the caffeine train before you can even focus on your direction?

Routine is so important when it comes down to your daily success. It can be the difference between making or breaking with the structure being key to starting our day with focus and control.

Here are some points to consider when creating a morning routine:

  • Plan your day the night before – look at your successes that day and what you can work on the next, then, prioritise the tasks you need to accomplish. Assessing where we have been is a great way to figure out the path ahead. This will then reduce the mental workload and prepare you for a good night’s sleep.
  • Set the alarm – set it for the same time every day – even weekends. Make sure you don’t succumb to the snooze button. If you snooze, you lose! As soon as you are up, make that bed; you’ll be less likely to climb back into it and it will set you up to start your day with a productive mindset.
  • Get some water – rehydrate yourself after that long period without any fluid. We lose roughly a litre of water every night so it’s no wonder we can feel woozy when we wake up. Try adding some lemon to the water for an added ‘zing’ and vitamin C boost. 
  • Put the coffee away – make sure you’ve fully hydrated yourself before reaching for the hard stuff. Caffeine interferes with our cortisol levels and in turn, can affect our natural bodily rhythms. If you can, look to have your first coffee around mid-morning. Your body will thank you for it.
  • Get out into nature – or at least open the curtains and spend some time looking at the sky. The morning light will tell your body that it’s day time and will naturally energise you. It works on the same concept as the blue light emitted from screens and is the reason why we should limit screen time in the evening; the light disrupts our natural cycle and keeps us from naturally winding down, ready for sleep.
  • Stretch – get your body moving and the blood flowing through your veins; warm up your muscles and get your brain into an optimal state, ready for work.
  • Nourish yourself – make sure to eat a balanced, healthy breakfast. Fill up on natural and whole foods to kick start your metabolism and give your body the nutrients it needs to function efficiently. Or fast if that is more suitable for your body needs. 
  • Self-care – get washed, dressed, and polished. Giving ourselves time to make sure we are presented for the day ahead sets us up for success. 

To see my Yellow Routine, take a look at my video here

"You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

Zig Ziglar

To help you create your own morning routine, download my PDF routine tracker here and put it somewhere you will see it often so you are more likely to commit to it!

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#10 Boost Your Confidence

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Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

boost your confidence

#10 Boost Your Confidence

What is it that is holding you back? When I say ‘holding you back’, I mean, stopping you from fulfilling your true potential and realising your dreams? 

Most people hold themselves back because of a lack of confidence in themselves and their abilities. We’ve always been taught to follow the rules, speak when spoken to and to live within the confines of our station within society.

This is where the majority of people will stay, looking through the glass, wondering what life on the other side is like. 

For those that have rebelled against these views and have broken free of the metaphorical shackles, they have moulded their lives into whatever they have dared to dream. 

As we grow, we learn how the world works and what our capabilities are; but, the older we get, we start to forget that, as we learn, it takes time to understand and master a subject. We cannot know everything instantly.

Our lives are no exception yet we expect to be able to know everything about everything, either at the touch of a button or just through life experience. But, how can we ever know how to ‘be’ just by Googling the question?

Like all things, becoming the person we desire takes time and growing our confidence is no different. We need to understand that this trait isn’t something that is handed out to the privileged few but it’s within all of us from the start; we just need to learn how to discover it and use it wisely. Confidence is a skill that needs time to be learned and nurtured.

For example, do you remember learning to ride a bike as a child? I do; it was a confusing and oftentimes, painful experience. When I had learnt how to engage my brain and my feet together on the pedals, I was able to master riding unaided. This didn’t happen in 5 minutes; it happened over a long period of time with lots of support from loved ones as well as much practice from me. 

What I’m trying to get at is, YOU HAVE THE CONFIDENCE WITHIN YOU… you just need to find it and master it; just like riding a bike.

Within time and finding opportunities to push your boundaries, you will be able to recognise this confidence and start to feel more at ease with bringing it out into the world.

What can you do to find your confidence?

I’ve worked with many people that have experienced the same issue and with support and expert guidance, they have all been able to uncover aspects of themselves they didn’t believe existed. 

One client, Hannah, was in a dark place and had lost her self worth and the belief that she was capable of achieving her dreams. She was in a perpetual cycle of negative self-talk and had hit rock bottom. Just a few sessions later, we had identified the triggers for her lack of confidence and what she needed to do to silence the negative voices and she set her goals for what she wanted to achieve, thus rediscovering the fire inside of her. 

One of the things she said which I think we should all remember is …

“it is a never-ending path but we can enjoy the journey on the way” 

Hannah

We need to remember that, just because we believe we are something, doesn’t mean we can’t invest in our own growth and transformation into what we want to be; it’s just a reminder that it is a journey and not an immediate result.

Just wanting to build on your own confidence is the best start to your journey. Get a pen and a notepad and jot down what your heart truly desires. Are there some wild dreams that you could never imagine being possible? Write them all down! This is YOUR list of dreams, set to become a tangible set of goals.

Next, you will need to think about each point you have written and identify why you haven’t pursued it or why it hasn’t previously been successful. What is it that has held you back? What stopped you from getting to the end goal?  

Here are some common thoughts that will slowly erode your confidence to push your boundaries. Which ones do you identify with?:

  • I’m not good enough
  • What will they think?
  • I’m not from the right background to achieve that
  • I wouldn’t know where to start with that so I’ll stay safe and not bother
  • I’m not intelligent enough
  • I haven’t got enough qualifications
  • I’ve failed at so many other things, I’d only fail again
  • I’m not brave enough

We all have doubts in ourselves from time to time but to let the negative rule our lives constantly will only lead to self-doubt and our goals remaining in the impossible dream category.

Now you have your written list of dreams, put it somewhere you will see it daily. Remind yourself what you want to achieve and who you want to be. This reminder will be a daily catalyst to make the changes you need, in order to achieve your dreams.

Take it to the next level...

Now, make a list of goals that will help you achieve the points on your list. Identify where you would need to step out of your comfort zone and make sure you keep these as a priority. Even if it makes you feel on edge about ticking these off, try and push yourself to get them done, sooner rather than later. 

Let’s look at an example:

Jonny runs regularly to keep fit but has always wanted to run a marathon. He has never had the confidence to consider it before as He doesn’t feel he could ever run the whole distance and worries that his friends and family would laugh at the thought of it. 

By taking the simple steps above, Jonny writes down his main goal of running the London Marathon. He then breaks it down into smaller goals:

  • Make an application for the marathon for next year
  • Tell his closest family and friends that he has applied – celebrate it on social media
  • Hire a personal trainer for two sessions a month for accountability
  • Increase daily runs by 10 minutes per day
  • Complete a half marathon within the next 6 months
  • Run a practice distance at least once a month within 6 months

As Jonny ticks off each of the goals to realise his dream, he is building his confidence to actually complete the marathon. 

As you achieve each goal, make sure to reflect on your progress and look at how you accomplished it. How does it make you feel to tick it off the list? What did you do that took you out of your comfort zone? How did this build your confidence? 

You can now see how to get to where you want to be and what are the blockades in the way. Building your confidence slowly will give you the momentum to move from one thing to the next, smashing through the barriers that once held you in limbo.

By looking at the destination, we can map out how we can get there. We might hit a few bumps in the road but we know that if we slow down, identify the risk, continue slowly and surely, we will get to the other side. This is how we grow and evolve as humans. 

Take a look at my video about overcoming my fear of online videos. 

What will you do now? You’ve identified to yourself that you want to build your confidence to realise your dreams. Going it alone is possible but can be scary without the right support.

Make sure you get your closest friends and family onboard and understand what it is that you are looking to achieve and tell them how they can best support you.

Book in a call with me. We can chat about where your limiting beliefs have come from and I can help you find the right course of action for YOU. We can talk about your dreams, goals, desires and map out how you can achieve what you may be thinking is impossible.

Take the steps today to build your tomorrow!

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It's Your Turn

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#4 Power to small business owners

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Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

power to small business owners

#4 Power To Small Business Owners

Doesn’t it paralyse you that you have the potential to create a fantastic business but not the means…yet.

Just like a car, you know what you’d love to drive but currently, you have to settle for much less.

The engine misfires, the suspension is shot, the headlights are dull and some dials on the dashboard are stuck.

You’re not even sure how it got through the MOT.

Still, it is a car and it runs; sometimes.

The car you would love is way beyond your price range and currently you can just manage to keep this one fuelled. Even then, you’re working flat out, 80 hour weeks to keep that car on the road. 

Of course, you are already stressing about it getting through the next years MOT because you’re convinced it will fail. In the meantime, you wake up each day dreading the next things to break down.

Wouldn’t you love a team that could fix the faults, stop it limping along. A team that could make the engine purr, fix the suspension, repair the lights and the dashboard.

A dream right?

You have no budget so where are you going to find that? There is a solution.

You are describing a Mastermind. Your own crew of mechanics.

Your business is the vehicle you have chosen to take you out of the traffic jam of Hussletown and its congested streets to the beautiful city of Prosperity, with its wide boulevards and avenues.

In his book “Think and Grow Rich, Hill described the Mastermind principle as,

“The coordination of knowledge and effort between two or more people who work towards a definite purpose in a spirit of harmony…no two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third, invisible intangible force, which may be likened to a third mind”, also known as, the Mastermind.

Napoleon Hill

It is an incredibly powerful process, that has proven to produce amazing results. But Tammy has taken this principle, improved it further and made it VERY affordable. Designed for you.

Click here to find out more by booking a call or download the PDF

She assesses each member of the team personally to ensure they are:

  • High Calibre.
  • Trustworthy.
  • Dependable.
  • Committed.
  • Have an excellent skill set.
  • And are not burdened by their own ego.

Each Mastermind will have the functions necessary to help you build that highly-successful business. Such as Accountancy, Operations, Legal, Automation, Marketing, HR and Business Mindset Coaching.

These are the mechanics that service, repair and upgrade your vehicle.

In exchange, you contribute your skill to help the other members to keep their car in perfect condition.

Each Yellow Mastermind brings you POWER:

Productivity and Energy

  • You have a team working with you on your business. This brings its own energy that flows through you, enabling you to become more confident and productive. You will achieve more collectively than you could on your own.

Outstanding Direction and Focus

  • More than just a network, the Mastermind focuses on your business. You will become crystal clear on the direction you need to take to grow faster, more methodically and efficiently.

Wealth-building Brainstorming

  • A fascinating phenomenon is created when multiple minds come together to generate ideas for a common goal. A new Master Mind comes alive that generates a higher level of thinking and awareness, that brings new insights to solve existing challenges.

Exceptional Coaching for Personal and Business Growth

  • The members in the small Mastermind group not only support your business growth but also your personal growth. Your business will never outgrow the level of thinking that you bring to it. If you don’t grow, nor will your business.

Results driven Accountability

  • Many times, collaborative projects are born in the Mastermind. New ventures, new services, new products and new income streams. The Mastermind exists to create sustainable success for all its members.
No alt text provided for this image
  • More confidence as you see your business grow successfully and sustainably.
  • Free up more time to enjoy your work and your life.
  • Save the investment it would have cost you to have this team.

Each person offers a 2 hours skill swap so they can focus on their ‘area of genius’. This reduces any overworking and as no-one is in competition, everyone is working for the common good of helping each other create their dream business.

No longer will you be facing those 80 hour work weeks because Tammy’s goal is for you to create that strong, sturdy growth that ultimately brings you freedom in your business. Not to be one of the 8 out of 10 failures in the small business sector.

Can I afford the time and the money?

The stock answer is “can you afford not to be?”

But let me go deeper than that.

No business owner can be successful without spending time working on their business. You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.

The problem is, wherever you work, there are distractions, people clamouring for your attention and probably hundreds of reminders of unfinished tasks that need completing.

Working this way is a recipe for disaster and the market is littered with those.

You must spend focused time, away from distractions, with like-minded people who want to support you, to help you create your dream business. 

This is not like any network. These people have been hand-picked so you know you can delegate with ease and trust.

As for the money? You will be pleasantly surprised at how affordable this is for you.

Why should I do this now?

Because now is the time for growth. 

As Jim Rohn explained, in business just as in life, after every Winter there is a Spring. 

The world has just witnessed a devastating Winter. 

Now the signs of Spring are here, take advantage and apply now to start the assessment process of your suitability

Unleash your POWER now.

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It's Your Turn

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#7 Defeat The Inner Critic

defeat the inner critic

Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

defeat the inner critic

#7 Defeat The Inner Critic

“You’re a failure!”

“You can’t do that!”

“Don’t bother, you’ll never be good enough!”

Do these phrases sound familiar? Do you hear these words often? How does it make you feel to hear such negative things about yourself? The words that spring to mind are demoralising, demotivating, sad, to name a few.

Who is it that is saying these things to you? Well, I would bet that you’re the only one saying them.

I think anyone would be hard-pressed to say that they had never criticised themselves or talked themselves down; in fact, I can guarantee that most people are their own worst critics.

But, how have we become so disillusioned with our own value and self-worth? 

The problem at play here is the classic ‘Imposter Syndrome’. Think about it, would you talk to a friend or colleague with the same disdain? So, why treat yourself in this way? There has to be a reason for it as we aren’t born to not believe in ourselves.

Imposter syndrome is a psychological issue where those who are experiencing it are fearful that they will be exposed as being a fraud, even when they are totally competent or experienced in what it is that they do. It’s a total lack of self-confidence in yourself and your abilities.

Have you ever played down your achievements or accomplishments? Do you feel that your successes ‘just happened’ at the right time or there were other people involved that you could attribute the glory to? Do you feel like you aren’t worthy of praise or acknowledgement? How about the job roles you haven’t applied for because you don’t have confidence in your abilities, even though you trained for such positions?

These thoughts and feelings can all be classified in the Imposter Syndrome bracket; but what is the impact of continuing to let yourself feel this way?

A lack of confidence will undoubtedly hold you back from achieving your dreams. It will stop you from progressing in your career. It could even stop you from enjoying life and everything that comes with it. These will have a lasting and damaging impact on you and your wellbeing.

What is it that has given you this false belief that you simply aren’t good enough or you’re not up to the grade? Was it a bad experience that you’ve had that knocked you down? Was it society telling you that you aren’t good enough? Did you get to where you are through hard work without the grades? Whatever it is, it’s stopping you from living your best life!

Do you think all of those successful people woke up one day and became who they are overnight? They probably feel nervous about new ventures, just like the rest of us but they don’t succumb to their brain telling them to stay away from the risks. 

Imposter syndrome is essentially your brain playing tricks on you, probably stemming from the good old ‘fight or flight’ response to uncertain situations. We don’t have to run from gigantic dinosaurs any more but in some parts, our brains haven’t caught up with this evolution yet and so it keeps on telling us to play it safe. 

But, playing it safe isn’t going to land you your dream job or the best fun of your life. It isn’t going to bring forth the opportunities you need to inspire you and drive you forward towards realising your goals. Playing it safe will merely keep you where you are, stagnant and scared.

comfort zone

To beat this mindset, we need to flip it from its current state into a growth mindset. We need to put the monster into the box and step out of our comfort zone.

Finding new experiences that test our confidence and pose a challenge are great steps to helping us gain the confidence and results we desire.

Have a think about all of those things you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t felt you were able to do them. 

What are they? List them out, make a plan; how can you work towards achieving them?

What else can you weave into the every day that will build your confidence and drown out the inner critic? Do you shy away from meeting new people as you are worried about what you’ll say? Do you stop yourself from driving to new places as you don’t feel confident on the roads? Do you wear the same old clothes as you don’t think you are worthy of trying something new and daring? 

These are all easy fixes and will help build confidence….

My advice, JUST DO IT! Ignore the part of your conscious telling you not to try and get on with it! What have you got to lose?

The more you change your thought patterns to ‘I’ll give it a try’ instead of ‘I can’t do this’ the more your confidence will blossom and the sooner that ‘Imposter’ in your psyche will disappear.

Tomorrow, I challenge you to wear something that you have been holding back wearing as you‘ve been worried about the response from others. Or, wear that bright shade of lipstick you haven’t felt brave enough to wear out yet. Better still, strike up a conversation with someone in the supermarket or in a coffee shop.

Seek out the opportunities to help you face what it is you are most fearing and use the situation as a lesson in how you coped. What did you do, how did you push yourself to do it and did it feel as bad as you had imagined when you had done it? Did you make you feel empowered? Did it make you feel more valued? Were you surprised at how well you coped and ultimately, would you step forward and do it again?

The most important part is the repetition.

Make sure you find ways to challenge yourself, to put yourself in situations that would normally feel uncomfortable (as long as it leads to the desired outcome of course – and don’t put yourself in danger!).

It’s only when we push ourselves to be brave do we start to live with more conviction. Living in fear of what maybe will only keep you in your box, looking out at the life you want to live. 

Wear the hat, sing in the street, make that call, apply for that job, say YES, find the life you dream of!

Repair today to avoid the despair of tomorrow

Download this PDF to help you identify the inner critic and how you can shift it to something more empowering.

>DOWNLOAD WORKBOOK<

I have a programme for those who want more out of life and to find the confidence that is hidden inside. UNLEASH THE BEST OF YOU will help you build your confidence and discover a side of you you never would have believed existed. Follow this link to read more and register to be a part of the programme. >CLICK HERE< 

Start living your best life by being your best self today!

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Personal Development Coach

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#6 Break Free From Overworking

overworking from home at the table

Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

break free from overworking

#6 Break Free From Overworking

Do you jump out of bed feeling alive or do you drag yourself to the kitchen to load up on caffeine to get your brain going, to fight another day?

Overwork can lead to exhaustion; not just physical exhaustion but mental exhaustion too.

We’ve all been there, trying to get the hours in to achieve a goal or live up to the expectations of others with our lives ending up consumed by work and the mental load it can bring. This situation is never going to lend itself well to a greater life balance or your ultimate happiness. 

But, how have we gone from being free-spirited, young and aspirational, to overworked, overwhelmed and tired adults? 

Is your workload or employer pushing you to achieve more than is realistically possible? Are your goals and perfectionism zapping your life away in order to meet your own expectations? Are you simply taking on too much of everything, not confident enough to reach out for help?

Here are some classic ROOT CAUSES to the issue:

SOCIAL NORMS – These are the ones that are telling you that you have to work hard to make sure you hit the ‘milestones’ like marriage, mortgage, kids, career etc. Norms function to provide order and predictability in society. Overall people want approval and belonging, and those who do not follow the norms will suffer disapproval or may even be outcast from others.

EXPECTATIONS – either yours or those of the people around you. Family, friends, colleagues, clients, society; you get the picture. We tend to try to live up to the expectations or what we perceive to be the expectations of others. Have you ever asked the question as to what is being expected of you or have you decided what these are yourself? 

PROMOTERS – The news, social media, advertising, commercial propaganda. These will all tell you what you should be aspiring to and the goals that you should be working towards but are they really what your heart desires or are they actually keeping you penned in and broke? These are the visions of others, in order to achieve their own goals. Switch off to them and you may be surprised at how different your own desires are when you have properly tuned in.

In reality, there are probably a hundred more reasons and variables as to why someone is overworked and overwhelmed. Until we look at where we are and what we actually want and need out of life, we can’t possibly start to rectify the situation. But, living like this, on repeat, will only have negative consequences, down the line, if you don’t make the necessary changes to reclaim your balance NOW.

black and white merry go round

To make the change now, you need to get off of the perpetual ‘merry-go-round’

From where you are, start making a time audit of everything in your day, for the next 7 days. Look back after this time and you might be surprised at the results. Take some time to really analyse where you are overstretched and what the issue is, to you personally.

Working smarter instead of harder is key. This will help you to claim back as much time as possible to do the things that will bring you greater results.

Finding as much joy in our lives should be one of our greatest goals with everything else working in alongside. Work should be there to complement this and not take centre stage.

By looking at your existing habits, you can look at the bigger picture and figure out what areas need changing. Where do you waste the most time and where can you rework your schedule to bring maximum efficiency and effective time management. Where can you ask for help?

Also, creating boundaries and making space for ‘downtime’ is essential for an effective life balance.

Here are some handy tips to keep the harmony in an over-stretched day:

 

  • Routine – create a routine so you have one less obstacle to challenge you every day. This will at least give others an idea of when you will be free and when you are not. Schedule in specific times for work, family and personal time.
  • Keep a diary – keeping track of all appointments, dates and events is an impossible task without some way of noting them in the same place. Whether your preference is a good old fashioned hardback or a more streamlined digital diary system, make a point to keep it up to date and check in with it first thing in the morning so you are prepared for the day ahead.
  • Plan – planning goes a long way to keep you organised and efficient which could help if you are overworking yourself. As you should check your diary at the beginning of the day, assess your diary and the requirements for the week before it starts. If your week starts on a Monday, use Sunday evening to check in with what you need to achieve or do in the coming days so that you can feel prepared. When this is done, use it as a marker to start your wind downtime, hopefully feeling more in control and at peace.
  • Take breaks – this is especially important if you work from home. It’s all too tempting to work through lunch etc., but by taking a break and stepping away for even the shortest of periods can refresh your focus and can increase your productivity. A great tip is the Pomodoro technique which uses timed work periods and rests breaks in between, check it out here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykMzzZolhdk
  • Rest – making sure that we schedule in a sensible bedtime as well as some time to ‘chill out’ after a long day gives our bodies and our brains a chance to slow down and recuperate. Make sure you are taking enough time to relax before hitting the hay to give yourself the best chance of a good night of sleep. Lack of sleep or good quality sleep will only compound the issue.
  • Outsource – if you are finding it difficult to keep up with all of the demands of life and work, take a look at what you can outsource. Could you take on a cleaner to make your home a more relaxing place to be? Would a gardener give you back some time at the weekends to be able to go and see family? If you run a business as I do, would an extra pair of hands be useful? I quickly realised that I couldn’t wear all of the hats in my business as it was eating into my efficiency as well as my life. My solution was to outsource some of the tasks that took me away from what I did best, so I hired a freelance assistant.
  • Have firm boundaries – how many times have you agreed to do something for someone or said ‘yes’ to something when you know that you will struggle to fit it all in? Having firm boundaries will let people know when not to approach you and say ‘no’ when you are under pressure is OK. Too many people think that they will be letting someone down if they can’t agree to every job, function, requirement etc. Being a ‘Yes’ person isn’t healthy in the long run and can only add to your stress levels. Be strong and learn to decline!

Identifying the lack in our lives is always the first step to identifying where we can gain.

Only when you can see where you are going wrong can you make the changes to get the results you have wanted. Being overworked is not a situation anybody wants to be in, even when they love what they do. We have to make sure our lives are in equilibrium and balanced to give all areas enough focus to maintain our health and wellbeing.

We all need to take a breather sometimes and this is your CALL TO ACTION!

Make an analysis and work from there. Make sure you implement some changes that make a difference immediately and the rest will follow.

If you need further help, book a call with me and we can establish some boundaries that you need to make and where you can implement changes to bring the life you are searching for. Reaching out for help is a strength, not a weakness that we are so often led to believe. 

Download my E-Book for a more in-depth look at this ever-increasing problem. It may bring even more clarity to your situation and, you never know, it may change your life forever!

Get the download here – https://1.gotoyellow.co.uk/exclusive-ebook

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#3 Focus Your Mind

focusing mind paperwork girl ginger

Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

Focus Your Mind

#3 Focus Your Mind

Are you feeling lost and unfocused? Do you get distracted easily and forget where you were to start with? Does this leave you feeling weary and lacking in motivation?

How many things have you got whizzing around inside of your brain at this moment in time? I bet that if you sat down and wrote them all down, there wouldn’t be half as much to worry about as you think. The problem with holding everything in a mental capacity is overwhelming and frustrating.

Many people keep their task lists in their heads, adding to it constantly until they get to a point where they just don’t know where to turn or what to tackle next. This is when they go into autopilot and fight the metaphorical fires as they meet them instead of having a strategy to stay organised and productive.

We are expecting far too much of ourselves to remember all of the stuff, all of the time. Something has to give sometimes, and it’s usually our sanity, not the work schedule.

So, where is the root cause of the problem? I can imagine that if you had a clearer head, you would have a much happier and productive day. But where is all of the brain fog coming from?

Why have you lost focus on your goals? I’m guessing it’s because you have so much other stuff to worry about right now. You probably tell yourself that you’ll think about that later when it’s quieter. But when is later? And why is there never a quieter moment?

Why are you lacking direction? Do you ultimately know what direction you want to head in? What’s the plan? I’m guessing you’ll be figuring that out in that quiet moment I just mentioned!? And in that same moment, you can think about identifying what it is that you’re passionate about and what you want out of life. 

Simple, hey!?

But, hang on, you need to do X, Y and Z first, so I guess you’ll have to put that thinking time off until tomorrow or next week or maybe a month?

Am I right?

How on earth can you focus and achieve your goals and desires if you are never giving yourself the time to think? The space to plan and do? Carrying on like this will make it virtually impossible!

planning focus your mind paper laptop

So, let’s start by making a plan to think about finding your focus again.

Time to think is essential for any task that you undertake. You can’t just plough into things at a hundred miles per hour and expect to come out with the results you had hoped for. There is going to be some clearing up to do along the way.

Approaching everything in life with a clear idea of what you want to achieve and how you will do it can only lead to success; even when taking on something simple such as the weekly food shop or entertaining guests. There has to be a thought process for everything, no matter how small.

So slow down, take your foot off the pedal, take a deep breath and….

START HERE!….

Put aside some time in your diary at regular intervals and make a plan for each session. Make sure you are away from distraction and have some peace and quiet to really, deeply contemplate. I think we spend too little time contemplating these days.

Think about and note down your thoughts on these points:

  • What do you want from life?
  • Are you living your true purpose?
  • What is your passion?
  • What do you need to do to find these things?
  • What changes in your life do you want to make?

Using this list, then put an action plan together. This is where you can look to regain your focus and the goals you want to achieve.

We all need a purpose in life and when it goes astray, we then start feeling lost. I don’t think that we ever lose these desires but I do believe that we, all too often, push them aside to make room for the immediate things that are going on in our lives; especially the demands of others.

When you’ve put your plan together, it should now be giving you a direction to head in and some ideas on the things to change or implement to get there.

Having accountability is essential. Having someone who you can bounce ideas off of and who will keep you on track will only serve to motivate you into ticking off the steps toward your goals.

Also, you should identify what the distractions are for you in your life. Do you worry that what you seek won’t fit into societies ‘norms’ and that people will judge you for dreaming big? Are your goals being hindered by other people such as children and family or even a demanding boss? Do you worry that people will think you are being silly for wanting something more in life or is your life goal deemed just not ‘trendy’ enough? Does this hold you back as you think that it’s not the right time for whatever it is you want?

If someone else told you of their worries such as the ones above, in relation to their own dream, would you be telling them the same story that you are telling yourself or would you be championing them and their ideas, trying to bolster their confidence to push them into action? 

Why are you talking yourself out of being who you want to be? Is it how you’ve been conditioned or taught?

It’s time to BREAK FREE! You have the power to remove these limiting beliefs to live the life you want.

Make your plan – set actionable goals – find your accountability partner – and believe in yourself.

It’s as easy as that. 

The first step is to take the time to think. Clear your space and your head and rediscover your fire.

So, now you know what you need to do, what would be a good nudge to ignite that spark?

Who could you stay accountable to? You need someone who can listen with open objectives and no judgement. Like the sound of that?

TAKE ACTION! Book a coaching session – It’s that simple. 

Let’s chat through all of your hopes, dreams, desires, forgotten goals etc., and let’s rediscover your focus. Invest in yourself now and you will reap the benefits later when you are where you thought you’d never be. 

Take a look at joining my goals and accountability coaching sessions at https://1.gotoyellow.co.uk/goalsetting or just reach out for a chat about how I can support you on your journey of discovery.

Get your diary out now and carve out some time for you. This is your opportunity; grasp it and the future you want.

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#2 Restoring Life Balance

restoring life balance

Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

restoring life balance

#2 Restoring Life Balance

Is Negative Overwhelm Getting You Down?

Do you feel like you’re treading water with not enough time to enjoy the fruits of your labour? Let me assure you, this is all too common, but it isn’t right.

It could be that you are spending too much time consumed by your workload, or you’re feeling the burden of unrealistic expectations being placed on you by others. It may be that you are letting your ‘To Do’ list govern your every waking moment, leaving you feeling fretful when you aren’t under pressure. 

These issues seem to be a recurring theme with many people I talk to. The context may not be the same but the underlying issues are. We can all feel like this from time to time but we must recognise when we need to make changes.

Everything in life must have balance but how is balance defined? In life, balance is when you feel content and fulfilled in all areas; health, wealth, family, romance, work, physical environment, recreation, friends.

When we give our focus to each area of life equally, we then find that we feel more at peace with ourselves and where we are on our journey.

This is a key sign that you need to readdress where your energy is being spent.

overwhelmed couple at work

BUT, Is the problem really OVERWHELM? Let’s dig a little deeper…

Often, there are other reasons why we keep ourselves busy.

🤯Sometimes, we use the excuse of being ‘busy’ to forget about other things that might be bothering us in life or we might feel the expectations placed on us are causing us to feel this discontent.

🤯The other argument could be that the adrenaline of stress is keeping us addicted to the motion of the proverbial hamster wheel.

These things are all within our control to change and we are the only ones that are creating this way of life. 

In essence, the workload isn’t keeping us on a knife-edge, our mindset is.

Can you identify yourself with any of these personality traits? 

➡️ PEOPLE PLEASER – You constantly ‘People Please’ and struggle to say ‘NO’ because you believe your self-worth is dependent on helping others.

➡️ BUSY BADGE WEARER – Wearing the ‘Busy Badge’ to keep a sense of pride and purpose and using it as an excuse to cancel or get out of plans as ‘YOU’ time isn’t your priority.

➡️ THE BEST – Keeping up the appearance of being in control and working all of the hours because you fear inadequacy. Delegation is a struggle!

The chances are, if you’re feeling under pressure, one or more of these titles will align with how you’re feeling. Can you see how your beliefs and views could have brought you to live this way?

‘But WHAT can I do about it!?’ I hear you cry. How can I feel less stressed?

Well, my first piece of advice is STOP! 

Just stop. 

Get off the hamster wheel, stop pedalling and find some headspace. If you can, get yourself away from the situation and take some time for you! 

Spend some time thinking about what life balance means to you.

What would you love to spend more of your time on?

What areas of your life do you feel you have neglected?

Are there any hobbies that you would like to rediscover or pastimes that have been long forgotten in the mire of overwork?

Taking some time out will help you gain a better sense of clarity as to what you would ideally like to achieve. Only when you know what your goal is can you go about setting the foundations to help you reach your ideal balanced lifestyle.

Life balance will look different for everybody; it all depends on what we personally hold important. The idea of balance will be a totally different ball game to a new mother who needs time to relax and rediscover herself to someone who is just out of Uni, looking to build a career and still wanting to enjoy a full social life.

Investing your energy in yourself is a great basis to bring back some self-respect.

No matter what situation you are in, there will most likely be an opportunity to delegate tasks to others.

➡️ If you live with family, have a think who can pick up some of the chores to free up some time to dedicate to the things you want to do instead of the tasks that drain you. 

➡️ If you are running a business, can you onboard some freelance help or invest in an employee who can help grow your business? Keeping you mentally on track is more likely to bring success. 

➡️ Have you got friends who could help with running some errands for you? Taking some of the pressure off of your shoulders will help centre you and rediscover time to refocus on the important tasks, thus reducing overwork and overwhelm.

Community is an essential part of being a human; living in a pack. Look at asking for help as a strength of character, not a weakness. Most of the time, people feel more valued when helping others.

➡️ Creating boundaries and making space for ‘downtime’ are also essential for an effective work-life balance. 

➡️ Creating a routine that you stick with will take away some of the daily, unimportant decision makings. Keep a schedule and refer to it at least once a day. Make sure you take enough time out and get enough rest. Life balance should be about spending as much time resting and enjoying life as working. 

If we are constantly working, we are not in a true growth mindset.

Organising your time in advance will ease the burden but spontaneity in our personal lives can keep a level of excitement and adventure. The key to beating the overwhelm is to make sure we are making time for fun and giving ourselves the opportunity to just ‘be’.

If it feels like a mountain that climbing alone is too much, this is the time when a coaching session is a sensible step to finding harmony in your life.

By chatting it through, we can find the real root of the cause and put some actionable steps in place to alleviate pressure and to help you gain clarity and the time to focus on your goals.

🎁 My gift to you is a free 30 minute discovery coaching call today, where I help you get clarity 🎁

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Personal Development Coach

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#11 An opportunity in redundancy

redundancy males

Redefining Success | Resorting Life Balance

an opportunity in redundancy

#11 An Opportunity in Redundancy

Ten years ago, I was climbing the ladder of life. Yes, the same ladder we’re told will carry us to success and financial freedom. Working for a global tech company, I was on a dream salary and living the lifestyle that went with it: luxury cars, travelling the world, Michelin restaurants, flying helicopters – I’m sure you get the idea. I believed my worth was determined by my status and my success at work.

It’s funny how we are conditioned to believe this story, whether it feels right or not!

Everything was going great until redundancy hit me like a ton of bricks. The fall from grace smashed my confidence and took me on a rollercoaster of ups and downs. I naïvely believed it couldn’t happen to me. I had always felt safe and secure.

At first, I had a financial security blanket to keep me afloat, but the pain of what I perceived to be failure crippled me mentally and physically. My life had been taken away in a snap. Some days I would be at peace and have a sense of hope; other days would end at the bottom of a crisp packet with a side of self-pity. I can confirm Smarties definitely don’t have the answer!

Rejection felt like a physical attack, and I needed time to heal. Having no visible wounds didn’t make it hurt any less. As the days and weeks rolled past, I realised that being bitter and angry was not going to help me; I decided to use my emotions in a positive way to motivate and drive me forward.

CREATING A NEW PATH

As my focus started to return, I saw a new vision of how life could be. In time, I realised what I perceived to be a personal failure was actually a failure of the company I had invested my life in.

 

As the fog lifted, I found a force at work, shifting my vision of life and helping me to see the lessons I had been learning. The universe was sending me subtle messages that became clearer the more I tuned in. This was my turning point, and, somehow, I knew I’d been chasing the wrong dream, a dream that was never going to lead to total fulfilment.

 

You see, while I’d had many fulfilling experiences on my journey, deep down, I realised none of them gave me total life fulfilment. And that’s what I wanted. I needed to thrive on the pain of my experience to become the person I never knew I was born to be.

 

Now, I live my passion. I coach others and help them find their own sense of success and balance. 

Without the dark, there is no light, and now I can see my strength has come from my adversities.

John Doe

Finding your unique purpose is key, but it can be misaligned if you don’t pay enough attention to what you really want – and ignore what others insist you want. Whilst the process of redundancy was a hard lesson, it also gave me the time and space to rediscover myself.

 

Look for the lesson in every situation. During times of struggle, it may not be clear, so you need to actively ask yourself ‘what have I learnt?’ to learn the most about yourself.

 

Keep moving forward and grasp opportunities as they arise and make sure you step outside your comfort zone once in a while. Success will come when you are comfortable with who you are and your abilities. Without testing yourself, you’ll never know what you’re capable of. Too often, we try to mould ourselves to fit the ideals of others, we rely on external validation. It holds us back from realising our dreams and confuses our true desires, so we end up overworked and unfulfilled.

 

For me, life today looks a little different to the original plan, but it is so much better than I could have imagined. I learnt the hard way, but now I see the bigger picture and know I have walked the right path to get to where I am. I know the future is bright, and I can’t wait to bask in the glow!

FIND YOUR PASSION AND PURPOSE

Know that you are not alone in this journey and it is OK to take time to think through your next steps. Feel what you need to feel and take action when you are open to change.

When you are, get in touch. Let me give you 60 minutes of my time to listen to your situation and give you guidance. 

If you want to get ahead of the curve, book on the same coaching program that took me from lost, to finding my passion and purpose. You can find out more here COACHING PROGRAMS 

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Tammy Whalen Blake

Tammy Whalen Blake

Founder of go to yellow
Personal Development Coach

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